Filling the Gaps
by digthatshizz
Summary: Filling the gaps in and around Mr Bates and Anna's wedding. Rating moved up to T, just in case. We are now up to the morning after the night before.
1. Chapter 1

**Anna's POV**

Friday afternoon. As I have been about my errands, those two words have been running through my head since he told me he'd booked the registrar. Walking downstairs for tea, the thought that I will be Mrs John Bates in less than forty eight hours clouds all others. Having waited so long for it to happen, at one point believing it never would, I was in a daze. Upon reaching the door to the servant's hall, there he was. Standing and watching him, I felt a faint smile spread across my lips. Sure, he wasn't every woman's idea of an ideal husband. There was obviously his leg, his limp seemingly worse over the past few months. The uncertainty of the way in which his wife died. None of this detracted from the fact that to me he was the most wonderful man in the world. Every other man I had ever known paled in comparison. The man of my dreams. Soon to be my husband. He must have known he was being watched because suddenly his eyes met mine, taking me by surprise. Wiping his hands on his napkin, he stood up and walk towards me.

'Anna, might I speak with you in the courtyard?' he asks. Nodding weakly, I follow him. All sorts of things run through my mind as we walk the long corridor in silence. Has he changed his mind? I did rather force the issue with him the other night. I told him we would be married, rather than ask him his opinion. Mind you, that's what he needed. He's never been the most decisive of people.

Once outside, the winter days mean it is now nearly completely dark yet it is only five in the afternoon. And it's cold. Turning to face me, he must read my mind as he pulls me close to him. I am relieved he's instigated this show of affection, my fears are soon all but forgotten as I breathe in his scent. When I am this close to him the rest of the world disappears. It is just me and him and I wouldn't mind it being that way forever.

'Anna...' the sound of his voice bringing me gently back to earth.

'Yes, Mr Bates.' I whisper, my head resting against his chest.

'I was wondering, well hoping, you didn't think Friday afternoon was too soon You were dragged away before I had a chance to ask earlier.' My dear sweet man. Didn't he realise even Friday wasn't soon enough to become his wife?

'I'd marry you any day ending in a y,' is my bold yet truthful reply. Feeling him pull away from me, I wonder if I have said something wrong. I realise it is only so he can give me that look he gives me. No one has ever, or could ever, look at me like the way in which he does. Gently stroking my chin, I prepare myself as he pulls my lips towards his for a kiss. Feeling myself weaken under his spell, I am again taken by surprise when he breaks our passionate embrace to wrap me in his jacket. I smirk at him.

'Well, it is cold...' he replies with a small chuckle. I'm not complaining. He shows no sign of reluctance as I run my hands slowly along his sides and rest them on the small of his back, gently stroking the smooth fabric of his waistcoat. We are fully clothed yet this is the most intimate moment we have shared together. 'I was thinking about baby Charlie today.'

Surprised by his rather random admission, I press for answers. 'Ethel's Charlie? Why?'

'Well, watching you holding him has to be one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my life.' he explains, a hint of the smile on his face that I love. He seems to save certain facial expressions especially for me. ' If that's how I feel when I see you holding someone else's child, imagine what it's going to be like when we have one of our own.'

'You silly beggar,' giggling, I softly pat him where my hands have been stroking his back. Again, I am caught off guard as he begins to tickle my ribs, causing us to break apart and the cool air to hit my body. A maid's uniform isn't the warmest of garments to wear in a courtyard on a winter's night.

'Now you take that back,' comes his command as I beg him to stop tickling me.

'I'm sorry,' I say breathlessly before sighing. 'I guess we should go back in and have some tea.'

He nods in agreement but neither of us move as we stand and look at each other. This man standing before me, despite all his flaws and there were many, I may never forgive him for the time he left me, was the love of my life. I'd heard stories of their being one person for us all in this world, and he was mine.

Despite my daydreaming I register his hand touching mine. The smallest touch send shivers down my spine. I don't know how I ever got along in this world without knowing his touch. Needing his touch. Leading me to the door, we stop and he brings my hand to his lips, tenderly kissing the back of it. He opens the door and at first we struggle to adjust to light from within after being in the almost pitch darkness. Even though I welcome the warmth the inside of the house brings, I'd relive the moment we just shared in the courtyard a million times over if I could.


	2. Chapter 2

**Bates POV**

_It is the morning of our wedding, and____here we are at the breakfast table. Forbidden to touch each other. I glance sideward at my wife to be, she is locked in conversation with Daisy about something or other. Stirring my spoon through the now stiff texture of my porridge, I let my mind wander to the events of this afternoon. The moment myself and my darling Anna are pronounced man and wife will be the most amazing of my life. I must have a silly grin on my face because my daydreams are interrupted. _

'What's put the smile on your face, Mr Bates?' Thomas asks, putting down his paper to look at me.

_I couldn't tell the truth, that much was obvious. Everyone in the room was now staring at me, including a grinning Anna. _

'Oh nothing, just thinking that's all.' _I reply, looking Anna in the eye. _

'Thinking, about what?' Miss O' Brien chips in_. _

_I sigh. Can't these people just mind their own business? _

'That's just the point Miss O' Brien, they are thoughts. In my head. If I intended to share them I would have voiced them.'

_Maybe harsher than I intended. This short outburst seems to have ended the enquires on the going's on in my head, as Thomas resumes reading his paper and Miss O' Brien recommences scowling her way through breakfast. _

_Lifting my cup of tea to my lips, I take a sip before realising Anna is still grinning at me. Of course, she knows exactly why I have a smile on my face. Her. She is the reason I smile. She is the reason I do anything. It's all for her and although slightly nervous, I can't wait to promise the rest of my life to her. She must know what is running through my mind as she discreetly squeezes my knee under the table. _

'Right, those linens won't sort themselves,' she announces_. Standing up and making her way to leave. I already feel half alive with her not being directly sat next to me, yet she is barely ten foot away from me at the door to the servants hall. _

_Watching her leave, I take in her perfect figure and my mind soon wanders again, this time to thoughts of our wedding night. Why, I don't know. In our current positions it isn't likely we'll have one. We'll make the biggest commitment another human being can make to another and then go our separate ways like it never happened. Yes, a young woman has tragically lost her life. We agreed to leave the announcement until after Miss Swire's funeral but a selfish part of me can't help wishing we could share our first night as man and wife together. _

_Looking up, I see her in the corridor, chatting to Miss Hughes. Sensing an opportunity, I leave the table and hover by the door until the God's shine upon me and Mrs Hughes leaves my dear sweet girl standing alone in the hallway. It isn't in my nature to sneak up on people yet there is something about this woman that makes me take leave of my senses. A quick look over my shoulder lets me know we cannot be seen as I grab her by the waist and pull her under the stairs. She's giggling_

_uncontrollably. A realisation comes over me, one that has done many times before, her laughter is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. _

'Sssh.' _I laugh, putting a finger on her lips. _

_Managing to compose herself, her eyes are solely focussed on me as I fight to find the power of speech. Suddenly, I am finding it hard to believe this beautiful woman has chosen me. I must have been silent for longer than would be deemed normal as Anna tuts and rolls her eyes. _

'What is it you want exactly, Mr Bates?' she asks, a slight touch of agitation to her voice.

'Well..' _I begin with trepidation. I am lost for words. What has come over me? I curse myself. You are a grown man for goodness sake, John Bates _'I just wanted to make sure you hadn't changed your mind.' _I cringe inside at the unoriginality in my line of questioning. _

'No, should I have done?' Anna replies, folding her arms before a perfect smirk spreads across her face.

'Erm... well, err...'

' I want this more than I've wanted anything before in my life. What will it take to get that through to you?'

_She walks away from me then and I'm sure in that second I've never loved anyone or anything more than I do her as the daft grin returns to my face. _

'Oh, and John...' She turns on her heel as I slowly peek out from behind the stairs to look at her_. The fact she has called me John for the first time isn't lost on me but she carries on as normal. _'Wear your hair a little looser for the wedding later. I prefer it that way.'

_And with that, she's away to carry out her errands and I'm reprimanded by Mr Carson for blocking the hallway, standing there like a lovesick fool. _


	3. Chapter 3

Anna's POV

Walking through a park nearby the Ripon registry office, I can not help smiling as I look down at my gleaming gold wedding band, on the hand that is gripping on the arm of my husband. My husband. I can't resist looking up at him, a contented look on his face as he guides me through the park. Turning to face me, he allows his mouth to crease into a smile and puts his other hand over the one that is resting on his arm.

'Shall we sit for a while?' he asks. Knowing him as well as I do, I know he wishes to rest his leg. Nodding in agreement, we stop at the next bench and he helps me to sit down before sitting beside me. There are a million things I want to say to him. Where do I start? There are no words that do justice to how I am feeling right now. Thankfully, he breaks the silence between us.

'So, Mrs Bates.' he says with a perfect tone to his voice resulting in another smile on my face. 'How much do you love me from saving you from a spinster's life?' Our eyes meet then and we both descend into laughter.

'Mr Bates, just because I am now your wife, doesn't mean you stop treating me with the respect you have done up until now.' I playfully scold him.

'I'll always have the utmost respect for you my darling.' he replies. 'Besides, you saved me from a grumpy, lonely life so I think I got the better end of the agreement here.'

I am loving the playful element to our conversation. It's a side of himself he rarely shows. Wanting it to continue, I venture on with the teasing.

'So I should think. I could have chosen Moseley. He does have a more cheerful book collection, after all.'

'And what's wrong with my book collection?' he replies in mock protest.

'We could discuss that my love, but I fear we have to catch the bus back to Downton soon.' Amused once more, he reaches down beside me and soon my fingers are entwined with his. Watching him, I decide there is nothing more perfect than the way that his eyes dance when he laughs. Slowly, the amused expression on his face turns more reflective as he turns to look at me.

'I do love you. You know that, don't you.'

'Yes. And I love you too.'

It dawns on me that we have never actually professed our love to each other in this candid way before. He has told me, and I have told him, but the way in which we just exchanged the words has never been so assured.

'I just wish we didn't have to go back and pretend nothing has happened between us.' he sighs, looking ahead into the distance. Reading between the lines, I register his hidden meaning. He is talking about tonight. How we will say our goodnights to each other then retire to our respective rooms. At opposite ends of the servants quarters. How was that right? I knew nothing would ever be right again until we could live the way married people were meant to.

'I know, but that's unfortunately how it's got to be.' That's all I have in reply. I can tell he's disappointed. ' I'm just sorry I can't be a proper wife to you.'

'How do you mean?'

'Well, I may not be a woman of the world but I know what is meant to happen on a wedding night. What a husband expects from his wife.' This seems to provoke a reaction from him.

'My darling, I did not marry you for that.' he begins. 'And I don't expect anything from you. You have already done me the greatest honour in becoming my wife.'

'Oh,' I reply, somewhat dejected. Did he not want anything to happen between us tonight?

He must have sensed the disappointment in my voice. 'But that doesn't mean I am not one day looking forward to waking up next to you.'

I look up at him, the sincerity on his face and the beautiful thing he has just said is overwhelming but I overcome it enough to say this in reply. 'I should hope so too John. I'm done with waiting. The sooner we can live in the way in which we both want, the better.'

'And to that end.' As he says this, I feel his arm move around my shoulders. Moving closer to him is instinctual. Here we are, sitting in a public park, his arm around me and it feels wonderful. Resting my head on his shoulder, I can't remember a time when I have felt happier.


	4. Chapter 4

**This story gets a bit more suggestive towards the end of this chapter but nothing too racy I hope. Let me know if I should change the rating. Thanks to my friend for her input on this chapter. **

**Bates POV**

I sit silently in the servants hall. Midnight is fast approaching yet sleep is the furthest thing from my mind. Anna is my wife. Have sweeter words ever been spoken? Stirring my tea, I can barely believe my luck. We have arranged to meet here. If we can't share our wedding night together, I have made it my intention to say goodnight to her in a way which befits a man and his wife.

'Another cup of tea? You drink your own weight in the stuff every day.'

Looking up, I see Anna has entered the servants hall and is observing me, hands on hips. Looking back down at my drink, I ponder over my reply.

'Well my darling, tea has replaced whisky in my life. It may be more English than Irish, but I believe it is the safest route for me.'

She chuckles as she sits beside me at the table. Helping herself to a cup, I notice she is not wearing her gold band. Of course, she can't if we are to be discreet. She notices my lingering look towards her finger and reaches just inside the top of her dress. She pulls out a gold chain, on which she has placed her wedding band.

'I'd rather have it with me at all times than in a drawer. Until I can wear it properly. You know.' I find it amusing she feels she has to explain the most faultless of acts.

'I know.' I reply. We both turn our chairs so we are facing each other and it feels the most natural thing in the world to take her hand into mine. 'How was your evening?'

'Fine. Normal. How it always is.' she answered indifferently.

'Oh,' I smile weakly before admitting, ' I spent most of my evening thinking about you.'

'Exactly, that's a normal evening for me. Thinking of you.' We stop and gaze at one another then. I take in the look on her face and store it in my memory. I swear she gets more beautiful with each passing hour. 'Mr Bates...'

'Anna..' I interrupt. We are alone, it may be habit but she needn't call me Mr Bates here. 'Use my name.'

'Sorry,' she closes her eyes and grins. 'John. I have something to tell you.'

'Intriguing,' I say, taking a sip from my tea. 'Please go on.'

'I was speaking to Lady Mary earlier. She knows about me and you.' Despite feeling surprise at her admission, I allow her to continue. 'Well, you see, the thing is. She has...'

Wondering why she is reluctant to finish her sentence, I try to reassure her. 'Anna, I'm your husband. You can tell me anything.' This seems to trigger something inside her as her demeanour becomes much more assured.

'Well, we have a room. Just for tonight. On the south wing of the house.' She explains. 'Jane prepared it for us. She'll give us a wake up call before she leaves in the morning.'

I sit in silence as I process what Anna has just told me. The thought of sharing the night with Anna overwhelms me. Yes, I want to more than anything but panic is the overbearing emotion. She'll be expectant yet what she doesn't know is I haven't engaged in that kind of activity for a very long time. I wouldn't like her to get her hopes up. Also, I couldn't bear it if she was thinking she had to this to please me. Nothing could be further from the truth.

'Anna, I don't want you to think I expect anything from you tonight.' She finishes her tea in a hurry before putting her empty tea cup back on the tray.

'I'll meet you up there in twenty minutes?' I nod and she stands up. 'It's the third room along. See you soon.' Before leaving she kisses the top of my head and strokes my face. I weaken to this softest of touches and watch as she walks away and disappears up the staircase towards the servants quarters.

Wearily reaching the south wing, I wonder if I will ever get used to the endless stairs in this house. I have left my jacket and tie in my room and on my arm I have my pyjamas. I suppose, hoping subconsciously, this will prove to Anna I expect nothing from her. I am relieved to see a soft light emanating from under one of the doors. Anna is waiting for me. I softly knock on the door. Upon opening it I am greeted by a sight I shall never forget for as long as I live. My darling Anna, sitting by the dresser, gently running a brush through her hair, sat in her nightdress. Looking at me in the reflection in the mirror, she must realise I am staring as she stops what she is doing to turn and face me.

'You found me then.' She smiles. I nod and proceed to take my waistcoat off. I am fully aware Anna is watching my every move. Placing my waistcoat on the back of the chair she breezes past me and sits on the bed. Gently patting beside her, I know she means for me to join her. Hanging my cane alongside my waistcoat, I slowly make my way to join her.

'John, what's the matter?' She asks. 'You've hardly said two words since you came in here.'

Looking at her, I swallow hard. 'Anna, can I be honest?'

'I'd hope you were always honest with me, John.' She replies. She always has a clever reply for everything. It's something I admire in her.

'Yes of course. It's just I don't want you to think I expect anything tonight. I couldn't bear it if you thought I expected this of you this evening.'

'Expect what, Mr Bates?' I notice her mood has changed to almost mischievous. She's revelling in my awkwardness. Taking me by surprise, she undoes a couple of buttons at the top of my shirt and begins to kiss my neck. This causes a sensation in me I haven't felt for a long time. Years even. It is like she is the experienced person in this situation.

'Anna,' I breathe. 'Stop. For just a moment.' I touch her cheek and she pulls away.

'Did I do something wrong?' she asks weakly.

'God no. Nothing. It's just me.' Taking a deep breath, I allow myself to ask her for clarification. 'Anna, are you sure this is what you want?'

'I have wanted this for the best part of seven years. As I said to you earlier, I've had my fill of waiting. The amount of times I have thought about this moment, I think I am prepared for it.' Despite her explanation, something is still holding me back. She senses this and my dear sweet girl is trying to reassure me. 'Are you sure it's what you want?'

Looking at her, noticing the need in her eyes, a need that has grown after seven years of putting up with my baggage and the trail of distress my life has left behind, I realise something I had never done before.

'It is what I want.' I admit. 'But I am realising I have never made love to someone who I am in love with before. And I am so in love with you.' I watch as a single lonely tear falls down Anna's cheek. She presses her forehead against mine.

'I've worked in service long enough to have heard different stories of women and their experiences with men. Most of them awful.' She whispers. 'How can something like this be awful when it is happening between two people as in love with each other as we are.

'I can promise you, it may not be what you are expecting.' I begin to softly kiss her neck. She responds to my touch by moving towards me, her back forming a perfect arch that my hand automatically runs along. 'But it won't be awful. Another side effect of the tea drinking replacing the whisky.'

Her laugh in response to my little joke is delicious as she starts to undo the buttons on my shirt.

And it wasn't awful. Or indeed what we were expecting either.


	5. Chapter 5

_**The morning after the night before, written as usual with the invaluable help of my friend. Thanks for the reviews so far. **_

**Anna's POV**

I am awoken from peaceful slumber, who is that knocking incessantly on the door? Whoever it is, I wish they'd stop. Suddenly, thoughts came flooding back of the night before and I realise this must be Jane knocking. God, it's infuriating.

'Anna,' I hear a familiar voice whisper. It's John and he is also gently tapping my shoulder.

'Hmmm..' is all I can muster, still under the effects of sleep. The knocking continues.

'Shouldn't you go and tell her we're awake?' John suggests.

'What?' I reply, still drowsy before the penny drops. 'Oh right.' He smiles the most beautiful smile at me as I climb out of bed. Putting my dressing gown on, I partially open the door and see Jane, already dressed and obviously wanting to make a low key exit.

'Morning,' she beams. 'It's five. Thought I'd wake you a little earlier as you have to get downstairs and everything. Good night?'

I smile, as events from last night come to the forefront of my mind.

'Wonderful,' I yawn, which must be an attractive sight for the woman standing before me. 'Thanks so much for everything. We really appreciate it.'

'It was the least I could do, Anna. You've been a great friend to me since I've been here.' She replied. 'You and Mr Bates.' Squeezing her arm, she places her hand over mine.

'Take care of yourself.'

'And you Anna. And send my best wishes to Mr Bates.'

'Bye Jane.' John calls from behind me. Myself and Jane share a chuckle before she backs away and disappears down the corridor. I sigh as I shut the door.

Although I am going to miss her, the thought which surpasses all others at this precise moment is getting back into bed with my husband. Pulling back the covers for me, it seems we are of one mind. Before I am even settled his arms are around my waist, pulling me in tightly against him. It's a chilly morning and I am glad for the close contact.

'So Mrs Bates, how are you feeling this morning?' he whispers. The feel of his breath against my ear sends shivers down my spine.

'Fine,' I gasp, snuggling in closer to him if that was possible. This moment has been seven years in the making and I intend to savour every moment. 'How long have you been awake?'

'I don't think I've actually slept,' is his reply. Not slept? I find it hard to survive on less than six hours of sleep which is what I am going to have to do today after the events of last night, but to not sleep at all? 'Sleeping would have wasted time I could have spent watching you. Which is what I did for most of the night.' A perfect reply.

'Won't you be tired?' a concerned part of me asks, totally amazed at how indifferent he is at not sleeping, I do love my sleep and as with Jane earlier, do get agitated when it is interrupted.

'I'm sure I'll survive,' he chuckles, kissing my forehead. 'It's a shame we didn't get married on a Saturday, I could have slept in church at the Sunday morning service.'

He really knows how to make me laugh as I begin giggling. 'Comments like that make me think you deserve O' Brien's harsh tongue.'

'Well, if that's the standard of pillow talk we are going to be engaging in, maybe I should have married her instead.' he says in reply through his laughter, before screwing his face up. Shaking his head, he closes his eyes. 'Maybe not.'

Finding his discomfort amusing, I resume laughing, resulting in him tickling me in the way in which he did in the courtyard the other night. Begging him to stop, he shows no mercy as he continues until I can take no more and pull the covers off him.

'Anna!' he cries out, rolling over onto my side of the bed. He is just wearing his shorts and as the cool air hits his skin, he wastes no time in finding his way back under the covers. Taking him by surprise, it is now my turn to tickle him and I am delighted to find out his ribs are almost as sensitive as mine. This 'play fight' has resulted in him lying on top of me and flashbacks from last night fill my mind.

'Mr Bates,' I say breathlessly.

'Miss O' Brien,' comes his mischievous reply. His wicked smile is enough to make me go weak at the knees and all resistance has evaporated as I press my lips to his. He responds eagerly as I feel his hand move down to my hip. A new yet familiar feeling starts to build within me and I am transported back a few hours. Pulling away, he is now leaning above me.

'I hope last night was alright for you.' he whispers, almost out of the blue. How could he think anything else? I am a changed woman. Yes, I was a little nervous at first but I trust him inexplicably. Last night was the most amazing experience of my life. So far.

'Yes, it was wonderful. Although, I feel different this morning.' I admit. This causes his face to drop and I sense I may have said something wrong. I work quickly to alleviate his fears. 'Until last night I felt like a piece of me was missing, then we were together and now I feel complete.'

'I will never understand what it is you see in me.' he replies modestly.

'Then I shall tell you, Mr Bates.' I begin as he smiles at my impish tone. 'Nowadays, after the war and everything, I only feel safe when I am with you. Granted, you are the limit of my experience with men but I can honestly say I don't care. No one could ever make me feel the way that you do.'

He responds to these words by kissing me, a beautiful kiss that leaves me in no doubt as to his intentions. A part of me wants to, yet another questions if we have time. We'll have to sneak back through the house as it is.

'My love, do we have time for this?' I sigh, cringing inside at my frankness before weakening as he turns his attentions to my neck.

'Hmmm?' he mumbles, lifting himself up. Sighing, he comes to his senses, his gaze never leaving mine.

'Don't we have to make our way to our rooms soon?' I reiterate. It is as hard for me as it is for him to admit our night together may be coming to an end.

'I suppose so.' Reluctantly, I release my arms from his back as he rolls back to his side of the bed.

We move on our sides to face each other, his right hand entwined in my left, neither wanting to be the first to move. I feel him fiddling with my wedding band, deep in thought.

'We should get up.' I say. We still don't move.

'I don't know when we'll be able to do this again.' he says sadly, staring into the distance behind me.

'What do you mean?'

'Well, I know the police aren't done with me. It just all seems a bit too good to be true.' he admits, moving his hand from mine before he gently begins caressing my shoulder. What he has said has brought us both crashing down to earth. This night in our own little world has given us a taste of what our married life could be like, but the reality of the situation he could find himself in makes that life together seem so far away. Still, nothing has happened yet and there is no reason to think that it will.

'Look at me, John.' Still staring into space, I put a hand on his chin and move him so he is looking at me. 'John, that is not a request, it is an order.' This causes a smile to spread across his face.

'Is this what being married to you is going to be like?'

'Yes.' is my forthright reply. 'Now listen. Nothing has happened yet. There is no indication that anything will indeed happen. So enough of that.'

'Yes dear.' he smirks.

We get out of bed and catch each other smiling at the other intermittently as we get dressed. The stroll to our rooms is in silence but the early hour makes us confident enough to hold hands as we walk.

Upon reaching the corridor of the servants quarters, it dawns on us both that we are going to have to say goodbye to each other. It may only be until breakfast but even to be that long without him seems unbearable. Standing opposite me, he leans his cane against the wall and takes both my hands in his.

'Well Mrs Bates,' he says in almost a whisper, although I think any other tone wouldn't have made it sound as perfect as it did. 'This is where we must say our farewells.'

'Last night was wonderful. Thank you.' I realise how incredibly weak this sounds, but the fact I am having to say goodbye to this man at all leaves me lost for words. All I want is to be with him every minute of every day.

'I should be thanking you.' He looks beyond me then and tilts his head to the side. I know when he does this he is about to reveal something about himself. Like he has in the past. 'When I came here I was on the brink. My life was in tatters. I came to Downton to find a better life and I found you. You are my life now and I would die before you came to any harm.'

No words would come close to describing how he has made me feel by saying what he just has, so the only way I can respond is with a kiss.

'I love you.' I say as the kiss is broken, our lips still nearly touching. 'Not being able to say I love you is nearly as bad as not being able to touch each other.' I wonder if I am sounding like a whining child as he begins to express his amusement.

'We need a code.' he suggests. 'We know we are saying I love you, but no one else will.' I smile at yet another secret between us.

'Okay John, how will I know you love me then?'

'I'll cough.' he replies simply. 'And you?'

It's too early in the morning for this I think to myself before scratching my forehead.

'Perfect, scratch your head.' He smiles.

I laugh at the absurdity of it all but find myself agreeing. 'I've married a mad man.' I tease.

'Yes, but a mad man who...' he stopped before coughing. This sets me off into a fit of laughter again.

We say our goodbyes then. Walking a few steps backwards, he smiles at me before turning and making his way to the opposite end of the corridor. I watch until he is out of view and sigh before turning on my heel and walking towards my room.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A short chapter but more to come. Thanks to my editor in chief, she knows who she is. :-) **_

**Bates POV**

Reaching the servants hall, I am, like most mornings, the first person to arrive. Taking up my usual seat, I pour a cup of tea from the tray Daisy has laid out for us. My mind is filled with Anna. I have to keep reminding myself I am at work and will soon go about my duties but this keeps getting forgotten, as the image of her on our wedding night takes over my thoughts.

'Good morning Mr Bates,' Daisy says, bringing in some toast and spreads and laying them in the middle of the table. She stops and takes me in. 'Goodness me, Mr Bates. You look like you haven't slept at all.'

If only she knew. 'Morning Daisy. No, sleep was hard to come by last night.'

Daisy smiles and sits beside me. Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for this young lady but her sitting besides me means I am about to have my ear talked off about something or other. Being ever the gentleman I smile politely as she begins.

'My mum used to suffer from sleepless nights.' Daisy begins. 'Do you know what used to help her?'

'No,' I sigh before taking a sip of my tea.

'Oh Daisy, I'm sure Mr Bates doesn't want to hear yet another of your stories.' Mrs Patmore interrupts as I say a silent prayer in thanks. 'Now get back in the kitchen. Breakfast won't prepare itself.'

'Yes, Mrs Patmore.' Daisy says in her usual screech as she rushes out of the servants hall. Myself and Mrs Patmore share a knowing nod before she follows in the direction of the kitchen maid.

'Good Morning Mr Bates,' Mr Carson is the next to enter the servants hall. I nod in acknowledgment of his arrival before settling back into thoughts of my wife. Steadily, the other servants joined us. Thomas, Miss O' Brien, Mrs Hughes but no sign of my beautiful Anna.

We have been apart barely an hour but the moment I see her arrive at the entrance to the servants hall, it's feels as if we have been apart days. We stare at each other for a few seconds and I know she is thinking about last night, just like I am. She smiles before scratching her forehead and I can't do anything to stop the small laugh that escapes me. Realising this has drawn attention to our silent interaction, I cover up my laugh with a cough.

'Mr Bates, I hope you aren't coming down with anything.' Miss O' Brien says in her usual harsh shrill.

Anna smirks at my distress as she walks around the table to sit beside me. As she pulls her chair in to the table, I look down and a flash of gold catches my eye. Panic fills my head as Anna reaches for the tea. My eyes are locked on Anna's finger as she prepares her drink. It seems like an age before she rests her hand on her knee. How do I let her know without drawing attention to ourselves? A quick glance to my left at Mrs Hughes, I discreetly move my hand towards hers. In the corner of my eye, I see her look at me upon this contact. Looking straight ahead, I begin to fiddle with her wedding band, praying she'll realise what I am trying to make her understand.

She gasps in her acknowledgement, and I close my eyes. Mainly because she has now drawn attention to us, however partly because the way in which she gasps reminds me of the noises that escaped her the previous evening. Bringing me out of my private thought, she moves her hand away and takes the ring off. Holding out my flat hand, she places the ring inside it. Clasping my fingers around the ring, I move my hand away. Looking around those at the table, I make sure they are not watching before I slip the ring into my jacket pocket.

'Did you sleep well, Mr Bates?' Anna asks, fully knowing the answer. My darling wife is now looking at me, a grin etched across her face. I struggle to retain my composure and I am sure the look in her eye causes my heart to skip a beat. 'You look a little tired. What did you get up to last night?'

By this time, the eyes of the room are focused entirely on us and Anna is loving it, making it her business to flirt with me whilst everyone is watching.

'Now that would be telling.' I reply before coughing.

'Sounds like he was up half the night hacking his guts up.' Thomas chips in. 'Sure you're not coming down with that flu, Mr Bates?'

'Thank you for your concern, Thomas. I am fine.'

'Mr Bates, shouldn't you get Dr Clarkson to look you over? Just to be safe?' Mrs Hughes asks. I sigh as Anna is now giggling beside me.

'I'm perfectly well, Mrs Hughes.'

The inquisition is ended by the sound of the bells from the occupants of the house. With the house still coping with recent events, people are waking up earlier meaning breakfast for the servants is short lived. Lady Cora's bell is first to sound, before the bells of her daughters.

Anna rises to her feet but not before passing a note into my hands. Squeezing my shoulder, she leaves me alone to begin missing her all over again.

Making sure no one is around me, I unravel the note and read:

_'John, _

_please meet me in Lady Sybil's room after you've finished with Lord Grantham. Now Jane has gone, I might need some help making the beds. _

_Anna x_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Bit more 'heat' as requested. Thanks for your reviews, they have been so kind. And also thanks again to my editor in chief :-)**_

**Anna's POV**

Opening the door to Lady Sybil's room excitement rushes through me. As I close the door, I know in a matter of moments, I will be alone with John and everything will be right in the world again. Walking over to her dresser, I place the fresh linens on her chair. Before I have a chance to think, someone's hands on me causes me to jump out of my skin.

'Hello,' comes the cry in a familiar man's voice.

Struggling to regain my senses, I turn to see it is John, a cheekier smile than the one on his face I have never seen.

'John Bates, you cheeky beggar,' I breathe, hand pressed against where my throat meets my chest.

'Well, that will teach you for causing me awkwardness at the breakfast table, won't it?' John replies as he places his arms around my waist.

'It's not my fault,' I point out, still out of breath. 'You're the one who made up the code.' Smiling at me, he presses his forehead against mine.

'Sometimes, Mrs Bates, you are too clever for your own good.' The way he calls me Mrs Bates does something to me I can't explain. He says it in just the right way to make me weaken that I can't stay mad at him for long for frightening me. We stand for a moment, in each others arms. It's like the world has melted away as he gently rubs my back with his strong hands.

Suddenly, I realise, I am here to do a job and pull away from him.

'What are you doing?' he asks, almost sulkily.

'Well, Mr Bates, see those linens on the chair here,' I begin, pointing towards Lady Sybil's dresser.

'Yes,' he replies, edging closer to me with a glint in his eye.

'Well they need to be on that bed.' I explain, now pointing to where Lady Sybil sleeps.

'Carry on.' he smiles, now so close to me there is barely any space between us.

'And you're going to help,' I announce, grabbing his lapels and catching him off guard as I drag him to the side of the bed. 'That's what I put in the note, I don't see the need for asking me what we might do in here.'

'Yes but I thought...' he starts his sentence confidently but now I have my arms folded and am raising my eyebrows at him, he trails off. 'I don't know what I thought. Must be my cough, messing with my mind.' I smirk, tongue in cheek as he turns a rather endearing shade of crimson.

_We begin to strip the bed in silence and a flashback from when we made Lady Edith's bed together fills my head. It was the first time we had really admitted that the mutual admiration we had for each other could go beyond friendship. _

Sneaking looks here and there at each other, silence has fallen between us for quite a while. It's not an awkward silence however. To me, it proves how comfortable I am in his company. We don't have to talk, just being together is enough.

We both reach for the pillows now, still in silence and I am sure our heads are filled with similar thoughts. Totally unintentionally, at least on my part, our hands brush and immediately our gaze is fixed on each other. Something builds within me as he looks at me with the same look in his eye as the night before. Instinct takes over and we both kneel up on the bed and meet in the middle. Before I have a chance to catch my breath, his lips are on mine and his hands are travelling all over my body. I don't know what it is, I have never felt like this before, not even last night. Last night was calm, gentle, slow. In the present, the overbearing emotion is that I want him, desperately. No, not want. I need him and right now.

'Anna,' he whimpers before pushing me back gently on the newly stripped bed. The desire is building between us, we have already done enough to lose us both our positions in this house. However, that is at the back of our minds as the need overtakes our rational thinking. After the events of the previous hours, I am soon realising I enjoy the feel of his body against mine, the changes in his body when we are together like this and the sounds that he makes.

Impulse makes me begin to loosen his collar. Instead of having the desired affect, John takes me by surprise and pulls himself away from me. Confused, I watch as he walks over to the window. He looks at me, he is all flushed and I wonder what I have done wrong. After his actions upon joining me in here, didn't he want this? Suddenly, we hear the familiar jangling of Mrs Hughes keys. Gasping, I jump and begin straightening myself out, as does John.

'Anna,' he hisses, 'the pillow.'

I look at the pillow beside me. 'What?' I reply, wondering why he is trying to draw my attention to it. He rolls his eyes and looks down at the chair beside Lady Sybil's dresser and sees a pillow on her chair. Grabbing it, he hovers it about his waist and I smirk as I soon realise what he is trying to hide.

'Anna?' Mrs Hughes calls, before entering the room. We both looked at each other as we knew the scene she found would take some explaining. 'Mr Bates? Why are you in here?'

'Erm... well, Mrs Hughes, you see...'

'Now Jane is gone I needed some help making the beds.' I interrupt. 'My workload is a lot heavier being one maid down so I thought getting this job out of the way quickly would allow me more time to fulfil my other duties.' I look at John. 'Isn't that right, Mr Bates?'

'That's right Mrs... I mean Anna.' Honestly, the man shows the utmost decorum in all situations yet one taste of passion and he becomes a gibbering wreck. I had heard about men and these sorts of things but never believed it could be true of my Mr Bates. He was always so calm under pressure, and recently, he'd had his fair share of being under pressure.

'Fine.' Mrs Hughes replies, seemingly satisfied with our explanation. 'Mr Bates, you really don't seem well.' John sighs and I have to stifle yet another laugh as his secret code comes back to haunt him. 'Are you sure you won't get Dr Clarkson to check you over.'

He looks at me and sees I am trying desperately to hide a laugh. He looks angry and all I can do it scratch my forehead in response.

'I'll be fine, Mrs Hughes. Thanks for your concern.' Mrs Hughes nods before turning her attentions to me.

'What is so funny, young Anna?' Now it is John's turn to laugh as I struggle to regain my composure.

'Err...' I begin, eloquence has always been my middle name. Mrs Hughes rolls her eyes as I look at John. The cheeky sod coughs gently and behind his covered mouth and I see the corners of his mouth are upturned.

'Honestly, Mr Bates.' Mrs Hughes says turning her attentions to John. 'The youth of today.'

'Indeed, Mrs Hughes.' he replies before looking at me, face beaming. 'The youth of today.'

'And Dr Clarkson is checking you over when he comes back to check on Lady Grantham.'

'Mrs Hughes, with all due respect...'

'No excuses.' Mrs Hughes leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

As soon as I hear it shut, I am at John, placing playful slaps on his upper arms. 'What happened back then? Talk about backing me up.'

'What?' he replies in mock protest, holding his hands up. 'I can't help it. You do something to me I can't even explain. Which is why things got a little too out of hand before.'

'Yes, I was wondering why you bolted up,' I reply, folding my arms.

'We are at work, Anna. I seemed to get caught in the moment. We can't do it here, not like that. I respect you far too much for that.'

'You're smooth with your words, Mr Bates.' I admit, forgetting that I had ever, even for a slight second, been angry with him. 'I'll give you that.'

He affords me another of his beautiful smiles before he reaches into his pocket. 'I believe this belongs to you,' he says before handing me back my wedding band.

'Oh yes, can't believe I left it on.' I say before fiddling around in the pocket on my apron for my chain. Sliding it back on I hold the chain to him. 'Would you?' He obliges but not before kissing my neck. I close my eyes as familiar sensations begin to take hold again. 'For someone wanting to show restraint, Mr Bates, you are going the wrong way about it.'

'It's my fever, I can't help it.' he jokes raising his hand to his brow. 'Now, lets get this bed made shall we?'

'It's alright, I'll do it myself. We can't risk what happened before happening again now can we?' I say, raising an eyebrow.

'Fine, I'll go. But Mrs Bates..'

'Yes John,'

He coughs before making his exit.


	8. Chapter 8

_**If you are wondering why this story is frequently updated, its because I am on annual leave this week. Thanks for the reviews and thanks again to my editor in chief :-)**_

_**This is Saturday night. **_

**Bates POV**

Today has passed in a mixture of yawns and stolen glances at my beautiful wife. On a number of occasions I have looked to the heavens and prayed for our situation to be different. I am not even an excessively religious person, I guess I am pleading with some sort of higher power to ensure things go our way. After the funeral on Monday, we can tell whoever we like, we'll have our own cottage which Lord Grantham still promises to us and we can begin the rest of our lives. Looking over my shoulder, however, has become a habit. There is a niggling at the back of my mind that something is going to happen, the police are not finished with me. At the moment I am living by the principle that no news is good news. We carry on as normal.

Dinner arrives and I am quick to get to the servants hall and to Anna. On my arrival, I am caught off guard by Dr Clarkson hovering by the piano. Breathing in deeply, I continue into the room.

'Mr Bates, Mrs Hughes tells me you have a cough.' he begins, walking towards me with his medical bag.

'Oh, it's fine, Dr Clarkson. I am the epitome of health,' I hold my hands up to the doctor and take my usual seat at the table.

'Now, now Mr Bates, it's best we check you over, just to make sure. We can use your room.'

'Please, Dr Clarkson, I am fine.' By now, the rest of the servants are filing in, including Anna giggling amongst them. 'If I take a turn for the worse, you will be the first to know.' The doctor appears to take the hint and leaves the servants hall then as Anna sits beside me. 'We need a new code.' I whisper under my breath.

'You should really get checked Mr Bates, we don't want to have the flu passed around down here.' Thomas says.

'I haven't got the blasted flu,' I snap before instantly regretting it. I sigh before looking at Anna. 'Sorry.' She shakes her head, smiling weakly before looking away from me.

'Let's eat shall we?' Mr Carson suggests.

* * *

><p>Having excused myself from the table early, as soon as dinner was finished, I am sat on a pile of crates in the courtyard, cursing myself for my outburst. My temper got the better of me earlier and I swore to never let Anna see me like that. That's the old me. The person I was before we met. I like who I am when I am with her. She's my calming influence, the part of me that was missing all these years until she walked into my life.<p>

My personal barracking is interrupted by soft voices at the back door to the house just to my right.

'Go and see that he's alright. It's been a stressful time for all of us.' That's the unmistakable sound of Mrs Hughes.

I am relieved to see Anna appear and look around the courtyard for where I might be dwelling. Sitting there watching her, I allow myself a few minutes to take her in before revealing my location.

'Over here, my love,' I call out. She turns to look at me and proceeds to move towards me, arms folded, clearly not enjoying the cool air against her body. Standing up, I remove my jacket and as she approaches I move to the back of her and rest it on her shoulders. She wraps it tightly around her, affords me a smile before sitting on the crate. I sit beside her and now it's me feeling the effects of the chilly breeze that whistles around us. I don't mind, rather my Anna was kept warm than me.

'I'm so sorry for my outburst,' I admit, looking down at the floor. 'It's just if one more person...'

'Sssh, it's alright.' Anna interrupts me. 'Is it wise to give me your jacket, you already have a cough as it is.'

Turning our heads almost in unison, our eyes meet and, not for the first time this weekend, we descend into laughter. It's amazing how this sweet young woman sitting beside me can make me laugh in one moment, then want to cry when we are forced apart. There are some emotions she makes me feel that I never knew existed until I started to love her.

'Mrs Hughes sent me out here to check on you.' Anna explains.

'Oh right,' I say in disappointment. 'Well don't let me keep you. It's freezing out here.'

'Don't be daft you silly beggar,' she playfully pats me on the arm. 'Even if it's as cold as Siberia I'd rather be out here with you.'

Without saying a word, I take her hand and lead her further into the shadows, beyond the haze of the lights shining outside through the windows. There are yet more crates back here and, being careful of my knee, I drag myself up on top of them and lean against the wall. Encouraging Anna to join me, she does so and sits between my legs on top of the crates. I am quick to put my arms around her waist and pull her to me. Using her body heat for warmth is the official line I use however it is primarily to feel her close to me once more.

'Warm enough?' I whisper into her ear, her golden hair tickling my cheek as it brushes against it. I am drawn to her neck once again and she groans as she feels my lips upon her skin. 'I needed this.'

'God knows I did too.' Anna replies, with a perfect amount of desire in her voice. It's reassuring to know she needs me as much as I need her.

I pull away from her neck now and she settles against me. Sitting in silence, my mind wanders to us in our little cottage. 'I can't wait for evenings like this. In front of a fire. The world shut away outside. Just me and you.'

'But not always, eh?' Anna says.

'My love, I'd be happy for the rest of my days if you were the only other person I saw and spoke to.' And I think I mean it until Anna begins speaking again.

'But what about when we start a family? It won't be just us then, will it?'

And she's right. It won't. It is obvious from the way she holds Ethel's baby that she loves children. Something inside her comes alive when she bouncing little Charlie on her knee. The fact that I am going to be the man to give that to her fills me with an immense feeling of pride and satisfaction. On the other hand, becoming a father was something I never even contemplated until I met Anna. Not even after years of marriage with Vera. Parenthood is a challenge as well as a blessing and I realise I wasn't equipped for that challenge until I met Anna. She makes me want things I never knew I did.

'Any child with you as it's mother will be the luckiest child in the world.' I whisper. 'You'll make a great mother.'

'Oh John,' she sighs, pressing her cheek to mine.

'And any father with you by his side can't fail to make a good job of raising a child.'

'Anna!' Mrs Hughes shouts, interrupting our moment of solitude. We are out of view and I know if Anna moves from our current position we will be open to a line of questioning we will both find pretty awkward.

'What do we do?' Anna whispers. We both carefully jump down from the crate and Anna hands me back my jacket.

'There's nothing we can do.' I reply, putting on my jacket before gripping her hand in mine. Taking my cane which has been leaning against the crates, I lead her back towards the back door and as Mrs Hughes comes into view we reluctantly let go of the others hands.

'Anna. Mr Bates. What are you doing back there?' Mrs Hughes asks, hands on hips.

'Nothing, honestly Mrs Hughes.' Anna replies. I can't stand the lies anymore. Part of me wants to tell everyone else what happened yesterday.

'We were talking,' I chip in, putting a hand on Anna's back. 'About the future. We moved away from the back door as you never know who is listening.'

Expecting a backlash, I am surprised when Mrs Hughes smiles at us. 'I agree. Thomas and O'Brien do like to eaves drop.' With a nod in our direction, Mrs Hughes walks back inside before calling back to us. 'Don't be much longer.'


	9. Chapter 9

**Had a pretty hard going last 24 hours so writing this has been the perfect tonic. Thanks for your reviews, you are all very kind. Thanks to my friend again for her help. **

**Anna's POV**

It is now Sunday afternoon, and I have been a married woman for forty eight wonderful hours. I think Mrs Hughes must have sensed something was going on with myself and John, as she has granted us this afternoon off to, in her words, 'do as we wish.'

As I wait for John by the back door, all the other servants are busy about their tasks, casting glances down the hall at me and my leisurely attire. The familiar sound of John with his cane reaches my ears and my gaze is instantly turned towards the stairs. He appears, hair slightly looser than it would be if he was working and flashes me that smile that he saves only for me.

'Ready, Mrs Bates?' John whispers, walking beyond me and opening the back door. I nod and walk past him into the cool air outside.

'Where are you two off?' Miss O Brien calls from the other end of the corridor.

'Never you mind,' Mrs Hughes interrupts. 'Back to work please, Mrs O Brien. Oh, Mr Bates.'

John sighs and turns to face Mrs Hughes. 'Can you both be back by dinner? We will need Anna to be serving.'

'Yes, we're not going far.' John smiles. 'Is that all?'

'Aye. Have a nice afternoon.'

* * *

><p>We decide to stay away from the village and take a stroll on the grounds of the house. Once out of sight of prying eyes, John takes me by surprise by taking my hand in his. He leads me to the lake, and we stand beside it for a moment, hand in hand. It's a peaceful moment, watching the ripples on the water as we both are stood deep in thought.<p>

Would you like to find somewhere to sit?' John asks, looking around himself for the perfect place. 'Ahh.' He walks a few metres to a nearby tree and proceeds to take off his overcoat. Laying it on the ground, I realise he means for us to sit on it. Sitting before leaning his back against the tree, he gestures for me to sit between his legs. Taking off my hat, I oblige him. I lay my hat on the ground beside us and rest my hands on his which have quickly found their way around my waist. Settling back against him, It's like the world has melted away as he begins to kiss my neck.

'Mr Bates, do you know what that does to me?' I whisper, closing my eyes.

'Yes, why do you think I'm doing it?' He replies, with a certain tone to his voice that sends a shiver down my spine.

'You were never this mischievous before I took you on, John Bates.'

'I think my mother would have disagreed.' John laughs. 'I'd often get a clip for something or other that I said.'

Something John had hardly ever spoken to me about before was his childhood. I know it was hard for him, he was very close to his mother, but I'd still like to get to know what he was like when he was younger. It is what has made him the man he is today after all.

'I remember once she took me to visit my Nan in Ireland.' John begins and I sit up, eager to hear his story. 'We were staying for the week. There wasn't much going on for a lad of my age, twelve I think I was. I had to find some way to amuse myself and I decided to try and convince my Nan her house was haunted.'

'John Bates, you wicked creature,' I laugh.

'Well it came back to haunt me in a way.' John continues, his voice so soothing when he is telling me his anecdote it is almost like he is reading me a bedtime story. 'My Nan got wise to it. I went downstairs one night for a drink and there she was in the kitchen, waiting for me and she sprayed me with water. Near enough killed me so it did.' Whilst listening to John, I smile on the occasions he slips back into his Irish accent. Of course, he's always got that hint of it when he speaks, but when telling stories about his past it's more prominent. like he is back there. 'My mother scolded me something rotten the next morning.'

'I don't blame her.'

'Jahhn,' he begins as he imitates his mother. This time there is no doubt to his Irish heritage in his tone of voice. ' You grandmother is 86 years old, your jokes could kill her.'

'And you masquerade as a man of honour,' I tease, still giggling at his story.

'Well, I am a reformed character.' He replies. 'And most of that is down to you.'

'No it's not,' I reply. 'The reformation you did yourself. It's the finished article I fell in love with.'

'Sure, I got my life back on track, prison has made me realise I never want to go back...' he stops short and I know why. Suddenly the reality of our situation comes back into our consciousness. The possibility that John may still be in the thoughts of those dealing with enquiry into Vera's death is very much existent. The atmosphere has turned from good-humoured and cheerful to cold and despondent.

John needs me at this time as much as I need him. Pushing myself up onto my knees, I turn to kneel in front of him. Placing my hands on his cheeks, I pull his face gently towards mine. 'No matter what comes, I will be right beside you.'

'That's good to know. Needing to be with you comes as naturally to me as breathing.' John pulls me close to him then before whispering. 'I need you so much, I sometimes wonder how I ever survived without you.'

I kiss him then. He responds eagerly, sitting up before gently guiding me to lay down. His eyes are dark as he lies besides me, his breathing becoming shallower, as is my own. By now he has discarded his jacket and is practically lying atop me, his lips never parting from mine. I am losing myself in him as the kisses and the desire within the both of us becomes stronger. Realising where this is going, I am wondering if it is wise to allow ourselves to take it any further, particularly when anyone could walk by. It takes all the strength and willpower I can muster to pull myself away from John.

'Darling..' I utter weakly. ' We can't.' John stops and lays his head on my chest, his breathing frantic.

'Sorry, I don't know what came over me,'

'Whatever it was, I felt it too,' I reply truthfully.

'We are quite an explosive combination,' John laughs, sitting up again. I kneel beside him and brush his hair back into place. 'Archetypal newlyweds.'

I look at the ground beside him before admitting, 'I still can't believe you are my husband.'

'Yeah, it's hard to believe you could attract a man as rugged and handsome as myself.' John smirks, reaching down for my hand. Stroking my fingers, his gaze never leaves mine. In these moments when we just stare at each other, I have never felt so alive. His sole attention is on me and the way he looks at me makes me feel like I am the only woman in the world.

'Thank you. For saving me from a life of loneliness. I was destined for a life alone until you came to Downton.'

'The pleasure is all mine.' He replies before a cheeky grin spreads across his lips. 'Mrs Hughes never showed me much interest so you'll do.'

Narrowing my eyes at him before playfully slapping him on his arm, we sit as we were before we let our emotions take control. We chat about everything and nothing. It's not long before the air turns chillier and we decide it's probably best to make our way back to the house.

'Thank you for a nice afternoon, Anna.' John says as we reach the back entrance to the house. Opening the door, we are greeting to the sounds of Mrs Patmore bellowing at Daisy, O 'Brien and Mrs Hughes arguing about something or other and Thomas playing up to Mr Carson.

'Back to reality,' I sigh, placing a hand on John's back before walking inside.


	10. Chapter 10

**Last installment of this particular story. Thanks for all your reviews, you have given me a real taste for posting more. Thanks to my editor in chief for her support and the late nights (3.38 am last Sunday morning was the latest!) We already have a story written about John's release and this seems like the perfect thing to post next. We would also like to attempt a modern fan fiction aswell, so keep an eye out for that. **

**Unfortunately, we have reached the end, those nasty men have come to take Mr Bates away. I have used some dialogue from Series 2, episode 8 so obviously this belongs to Julian Fellowes etc etc. Keep the faith, they will be re united sooner rather than later! **

**Bates POV**

Standing beside Anna at Miss Swire's funeral, I allow myself to glance over at Mr Crawley. A more tortured soul I have not seen in many years. For a small moment I imagine how desolate I would feel if it were Anna they were laying to rest today, but soon I shake the thought out of my head as Carson indicates it is time to leave.

Following Miss Hughes, Mr Carson and Anna down the path to the exit of the church, I allow myself to take in my wife's perfect figure. What can I say? I am a man after all. Why on earth did she choose someone like me, will all my flaws and imperfections and a troubled past? Still, as in her sweet way she keeps reminding me, she did choose me and I need to get past this self doubt.

What is being said between the three people in front of me is lost as I find myself thinking about our future again. We've shown our support to the Crawley's in their time of grief, but now we can actually turn our attentions to our life together. We agreed that once the funeral was over, we would start to make plans. Maybe it's because I find all this too good to be true, I am eager to talk about this with Anna.

Once we are out of the church grounds, I am relieved to see Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson stroll ahead of Anna. She looks back over her shoulder slightly and I smile to myself as I know she is looking to see where I am. She slows her pace and soon we are by each other's sides, where we belong. Discreetly squeezing her hand, I am rewarded with a beautiful smile before her look turns more serious.

'That was difficult.' Anna whispers, looking back over her shoulder at those gathered leaving the graveyard.

'Yes,' I nod in agreement. 'After losing William in the war, this flu was a cruel blow to the house.'

Anna nods and bows her head. She had worked closely with William for many years and I know in that moment she is thinking of him. He was a lovely lad, a hard worker. Appalled at the treatment he received from Thomas, he needed someone to look out for him and I took it upon myself to be that someone. His death was terribly hard on the majority of the downstairs staff. Firstly, to see him get his final wish of marrying Daisy then losing his battle with life, war is a merciless thing. I should know, looking down at my knee and my cane. But the powers that be, whoever or whatever they were, had given me a second chance and it was Anna. I realise this is why I survived the Army, the Boer War. To meet this beautiful young woman and make her happy for the rest of her life.

'It's life though, isn't it?' Anna says suddenly, lifting her head. 'Things are sent to try us, as my Mum says.'

'Indeed they are, my love.' I reply.

'We must move on. Accept what has happened and move on.' Anna continues. 'It's how you deal with the things that life throws at you that defines who you are.'

'That's very true, Mrs Bates.' She turns her head to smile at me once again. I wonder if this is the right time to broach the subject of when to reveal our secret. What she has just said would indicate it would be.

'Erm.. Anna. I was wondering, err... when..' I curse myself. As assured as ever.

'When shall we tell everyone?' She helps me and we catch each others gaze.

'Yes. I realise it could be deemed entirely insensitive given we have just left Miss Swire's funeral but...'

'Tomorrow.' She suggests. 'Give everyone time to get over the events of today. We can asks to see Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson tomorrow morning, then you can tell Lord Grantham our plans once we've done that.'

'I'm sure there won't be any issues.' I say, not totally sure that will be the case. 'But Lord Grantham has been asking about our situation.'

'Well, if people don't like it, that's up to them. All that matters is us. We're happy, aren't we?'

'Happy doesn't even begin to explain what I have been feeling since Friday afternoon.' I admit truthfully.

We both desperately want to touch then, I can feel the energy between us. We are newlyweds after all, isn't it right we should want to hold hands or share a kiss? What was clear was that neither of us wanted this secret to carry on and longer than it needed to.

Upon reaching the house, Anna and I are in the middle of a wonderful conversation about the cottage we could share together before I am interrupted by Mrs Patmore.

'Mr Bates,' she begins, a slightly shaky element to her tone.

'Are you alright, Mrs Patmore?' I ask, the poor woman looks like she has had quite a shock.

'I'm alright, there are two men waiting for you in the servants hall.' Something in the back of my mind tells me this can't be good as I slowly make my way towards the hall. Anna follows and my heart is in my mouth as I see the two men waiting. 'Are you looking for me?'

'John Bates?' one of the men asks, a serious look on his face.

'Yes.'

'You are under arrest on the charge of wilful murder.' Those words echo in my head as the man continues. 'You are not obliged to say anything unless you feel obliged to do so. Whatever you say will be taken down in writing and may be give in evidence against you upon your trial.'

'I understand.'

All I can think about is Anna. How I've let her down, how everything has come crashing down around us. I knew something bad was going to happen. People like me don't deserve happy endings. Anna does. She deserves so much more than I'll ever be able to give her. Especially now. Maybe she would have been better off if I had never arrived at Downton.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the handcuffs the other gentleman is holding and is now moving towards my hands. Not wanting to cause a scene, I reluctantly raise them towards him but am surprised to feel Anna pulling down on my wrists. She is fighting for me. The only person who ever has.

'No. No.' she whimpers, desperation in her voice, causing my heart to ache more than it has done at any other time in my life.

I look down at her, grateful for her efforts yet realising they will be fruitless. 'Please, do whatever is required.'

Whilst the gentlemen is putting the cold, metal shackles on my wrists, Anna's eyes meet mine. This could be the last chance I have to tell her how I feel. That she is the reason I breathe and how being able to call her my wife is the greatest honour that has ever been afforded to me in my life.

'I love you.' is all I can think of to say. However in front of all the downstairs staff, I hope she realises what a momentous gesture it is. Now, everybody is left in no doubt as to how I feel about this amazing, beautiful, faultless woman.

Putting her arm around my neck, I see the pain in her eyes. Yet, with the pain I can sense resolution, that she will never stop fighting for me. This is reflected in the words she declares next.

'And I love you. For better or worse, for richer or poorer.' As we meet for one final, sweet kiss, I realise the staff must now realise the enormity of our current situation. Anna is my wife and were are to be dragged apart.

Here I am being arrested for Vera's death, all the evidence pointing towards me as the culprit. I know the truth and in her heart so does Anna. However, to the outside world I am guilty.

Dragging me away from my salvation, it dawns on me I may never see these walls again. I am frightened but most of all, even though we have only parted mere seconds ago, I am yearning to be close to Anna already. I do not want Anna to think that I am scared, so I use all the strength I can gather to remain strong, at least until she can't see me. I do not look at the faces of my colleagues staring at me, I look straight ahead.

Once in the back of the police car, I allow myself to bow my head. Convinced this was my past catching up with me, the future now looked bleak.

After talk of babies, cottages and life with the woman of my dreams, there was now no future.


End file.
